Why Dinner Dates Are DumbDec 17, 2014
Hey! James from Social Coach, and have I got a big one today for you!
For some weird reason, our culture, our society, the movies, TV, encourages you to take women on a first or second date out to this formal, sit-down dinner. It is asinine, it is pretty much the dumbest place you could ever realistically take a woman on a first date, and in this video I shot at a 2014 student conference with the lovely Anita, I’m going to explain to you exactly why, and give you some powerful suggestions on other strategies for first, second, third dates.
James: Now, in this instance, I’m… what am I? 43? How old are you?
James: 22. Let’s say Anita and I meet, and she’s a very, very intelligent young lady, we have a good conversation and I ask her out for dinner. And the first thing I do is take her out to a really nice restaurant. And then I get there, I have to dress up, I have to impress her, she’s going to start judging me by the quality of restaurant I take her to. Does that make sense? So if you live in Sydney, New York, London, Melbourne, somewhere like that, what are you going to spend? And when I ask guys this, mostly the number is at least a hundred, and for financial market yuppies, sometimes three to five hundred. So you’re looking at at least 150. And you’re in a situation where if you don’t spend enough, you’re a cheapskate; if you spend too much, you’re trying to use a law of reciprocity to buy your way into her pants, and you’re putting a huge amount of obligation on the girl, which is not sexy at all.
So okay – that’s the first difficulty. The second difficulty – if you can use your imagination, imagine you’re at a dinner table – is I’ve got this person I might have chatted to for two hours in a group of people, or maybe I met her at a bar or at a party, and now this complete stranger… three-course meal, say that takes two hours. Face-to-face, I’ve got to maintain cold conversation… I’m basically a conversational teacher, that’s one of the biggest parts of my job. I’ve got to maintain cold conversation for two hours. You’re setting yourself up for almost certain failure!
So you’re at dinner, and then you’ve got issues of if she’s a really hot, 5’9” girl, and her belly sticks out, she’s probably not gonna be as open to having sex with you if her firm bikini body is not quite as good as it was before. Secondly, she could be drinking red wine, you could be drinking beer. She could be eating garlic, you could be eating chilli. It’s a nightmare! The first kiss to a woman… I don’t know. Your job, your height, the size of your penis, your bank balance… it’s like more important than all that put together! Because if the first kiss doesn’t work, you’ve got to be Ryan Gosling to keep going, in many cases!
So the first kiss has to be perfect. So I highly recommend you make sure both of you brush your teeth before the first kiss, and you engineer that into your date. So the worst thing you can be doing is putting lots of disgusting stuff in both your breaths before you actually try to make a move and hopefully have sex with her.
And finally, for guys in their 20s, you might say this isn’t a great deal of importance – when your stomach digests food, it takes a lot of blood. Now, if I’m planning going from dinner at 7 to coffee at 9.30 to sex at 10.30, and I’m probably consuming most of my food around 8, my main, and I want to have sex a couple of hours later, and I’m in my 40s, and I’m digesting steak, where would I prefer to have that blood than my stomach at 10:30? Can anyone answer that? Down there.
So you’re also ruining your erectile function. So she’s not going to have as good an experience with you, and if there’s any nerves… and you know, I’ve slept with a lot of women. There’s nearly always a little bit of nerves that first time, and a lot of guys report erectile dysfunction. It’s not you! It’s girl who’s scared shitless! And her negative energy is just ruining your little fella.
So you want as much resources as you can, on the first day, of blood available for your little boy, to make sure that it comes off successfully. Very, very important. So as I say, dinner dates are like masturbating with sandpaper. Just do not do it – it’s really stupid.
What do you do?
While we’re on that subject, anything that involves you and some activity – if you’re very nervous, and you haven’t had much experience with women, something like mini-golf or pool or bowling might be okay. It does sometimes give you the opportunity to start the touching. But if you have any degree of confidence, i.e. you’ve done my boot camp, you should really be sticking to – as I’ll get on to a bit later – your date plan, and your date plan should ultimately end up on a nice, low-slung couch, somewhere pretty close to your apartment.
The reason for that is when you do most of the actual seducing here, you don’t want to have a long distance to go before you do the final seducing in bed. Otherwise, she’s sitting in the car, going, “Oh, he’s great, but do I want to sleep with him? Is he too old? I’m not sure about his job. I’m not sure about this thing he said. I don’t know what my friends would think of him. I don’t know if he’ll get on with my parents.” She’s got all this stuff in her head. So you want to give her minimum amounts of time to actually consider this.
So hopefully, I’ve finally sold you on how monumentally stupid an idea taking a woman to dinner for a first or second date is. If you are in a situation where… you’re on a date situation, you absolutely must eat something, try to make sure it’s a really light salad, something like that, something that won’t affect your breath, or at least bloody make sure you brush your teeth. And try to make sure it’s not too much whatever – meat, carbs, fat – in your stomach so it’s going to affect your performance when you hopefully get her to the bedroom.
Yeah – this stuff today for many guys really is a life-changer. So please hit ‘Like’, and we’d love to see any comments or answer your questions down below. Cheers!