Top 7 Things I’ve Learnt About Women (From James) – From Virgin To Dating A Professional Model In Less Than A YearOct 08, 2012
Out of respect for Nathan's current girlfriend, we've concealed his identity
Introduction from James:
This is a "top 7 things" blog post from a shy, computer geek. He went from virgin, battling severe social anxiety to dating a professional model and juggling a bunch a beautiful, professional women in less than a year. In this post he shares some incredible wisdom about rapidly improving your results with women.
Socialising was never one of my strong points. People liked me when they got to know me, but around new people, I was shy and very reserved. I decided this was an area I wanted to improve upon so employed a social coach, James from Social Coach, to show me how to communicate and build rapport with others.
One of the areas we focused on was how to interact with girls in a more seductive sense which could lead to romantic relationships. Since meeting this wise man my romantic life has improved dramatically. I’ve dated an American professional model, a lawyer, a girl doing a masters in philosophy, a medical student and a girl studying 3 degrees with a Sundance shortlisted film. I even managed to score a few threesomes with a professional dancer and her friend!
(FYI: Nathan is now given up the "player" lifestyle and is in a long term relationship with the 3 degree girl and he's happier than he's ever been!).
Throughout this journey I realised that women are far more socially acute than men, picking up on small nuances and intuitive feelings a man wouldn’t notice or give much interest to. These simple concepts are very powerful yet often overlooked or underrated by males.
Anyway, the Top 7 Things I learned from James are:
Strong Eye Contact
There is no better way to display masculinity and create sexual energy and tension than to hold a woman’s gaze throughout the conversation. Linger there for just a little too long. Not only will the sexual energy go through the roof but eye contact allows for a more genuine, open connection and adds a layer of communication through expressions.\
The next time you’re at a coffee shop or bar watch what girls do with their hands during a conversation. They’re constantly touching each other. Just like eye contact, it supplements dialogue. So when you’re talking to a girl don’t be scared to touch, you’ll be surprised how normal they find this if you start small and increase it as the conversation progresses.
Lightly touch her shoulder when you greet her, lean in and softly hold her arm when she says something which catches your curiosity. If she seems interested in you and the interaction gets a more sexual feel you can leave your hand in more sensitive areas like the lower back. If you’re not used to touching it may seem weird to you in the beginning but that’s ok, you’ll become comfortable with it in time and soon enough be running your hand up and down her thigh like a natural.
Do you remember a time when you were lively and exuding happiness? When conversation seemed to flow effortlessly and everyone was having a good time? That’s good energy. Girls feed off this energy and love being around people who have it. Conversely if you have low or bad energy you can drag a girls energy down with you. So next time you meet new people have a big, welcoming smile and be as warm as you can. Obviously you have to be aware not to overdo it or it can come off weird and fake, but more often than not a guy’s energy is to
o low than too high, so unless you’re running around laughing hysterically with a broom between your legs at the next BBQ you’ll be fine.
This may seem controversial, but if a woman is interested in you she will want you to lead the conversation. This means moving the conversation forwards, being the first one to escalate the physical touching, setting up the date. Later on in the interaction the girl will help you out, especially if she’s very interested in you, but in the beginning you need to display that you’re a strong man and that’s by leading. Women don’t like feeling like they have to do all the work and unfortunately may feel slutty if they end up having to, so leading removes those pressures.
Not only is living an interesting life important for your wellbeing and happiness, it gives you more to talk about and makes you more attractive to the opposite sex. You have to remember those interesting experiences, so it may help to answer questions such as:
What are my favourite books and movies?
What interesting things have I done this week/month?
What am I passionate about?
Often times I hear interesting guys engaged in very boring conversations as they are nervous and their mind goes blank so it’s important to do exercises like that. Also you don’t just talk about interesting things to show how interesting you are, girls can see right through that. It’s more so to connect, when she talks about her experiences running on the beach you could bring up how exhausting yet enlightening yoga is for you.
Listen, really listen. Don’t think about what to say next just be in the moment, giving her your full attention and awareness. If she says something interesting then convey your curiosity. If you don’t know what something means then ask her. If you want to know more, let her know.
Showing her genuine interest makes the connection stronger and allows the conversation to flow a lot easier. Noticed I said genuine, just like everything you can’t pretend to be interested in something she says. ‘Ohhh, you like shopping! How interesting! Tell me more!’. Yeah, you’re not fooling anyone.
Being honest and open is so important. I’ve said this many times throughout but women are so much better than this stuff than us, massively more acute and aware, so they know. You don’t need to sell yourself and show how good you are. Even if you have a lot going for you this can backfire as women can often think, “well he’s obviously not ok with himself, so how can I be?”.
Be ok with yourself, be humble, sometimes mention your flaws or make a joke about your girly hands or how you tripped over walking into the venue. A man who accepts himself and portrays that is more attractive to most women then an expensive watch or nice suit.