How To Avoid Rejection By WomenAug 13, 2013
The Key To Approaching Is Energy
James: Actually I might just try to demonstrate that. So if you could imagine sort of like (approaching Rebecca and Nicola with low energy) Hey guys, how you doing?
James: I'm James.
James: How’s your night going?
James: So, how was your day?
James: How about your day, how was that?
Rebecca: Super. You see with that we're both really going to need to carry the conversation because he's not bringing anything to the table.
James: Yeah, versus my old mate the crocodile hunter who's seen a Tyrannosaurus Rex and he's never been so f***ing excited in his life. (Approaching Rebecca and Nicola with lots of energy) Hey guys, how you doing? I'm James.
Nicola: Good. Hi, I’m Nicola.
James: See, it's put a smile on her face already, and a huge smile on her face already just by the amount of energy I'm coming in with.
Clinton: Could you guys realistically talk to somebody who approached with that much energy?
Clinton: Isn't it a little bit kind of like...
James: Could I just answer that for a second? If they're in a bar they're not even going to notice you, particularly if they're hot, you know, you've got to come in with so much oomph.
Don’t Do These Dumb Approaches
James: I personally would not do an approach unless I saw a way I could sit and talk on their level. One thing you’ll see a lot of guys do is:
(James approaches Rebecca and Lisa, who are seated, and stands in front of them)
“Hey, how you guys doing?”*
Standing up, weirding them out, just weirding them out.
Rebecca: It’s weird.
James: If I’m Brad Pitt and I’ve got my Oscar with me, I can probably talk to them for about 5 minutes like this before I weird them out. If I’m any other guy, forget it. I know Brad Pitt hasn’t won an Oscar but anyway. Can’t do it.
James: Another thing that you’ll often see is guys doing this:
(James approaches Rebecca and Lisa and crouches next to them)
Women have a word for guys like this: loser. You just can’t do this, I don’t know why. It doesn’t matter how good looking you are. Look, they’re looking down at me with contempt, like a dog or something, as if I’m about to kiss their feet. So you’ve got to figure out before you approach a girl where you’re going to take it. I’ve walked into the other bar and I’ve picked up a chair and brought it over. That’s projecting a lot of interest, I'd only ever do that on a Bootcamp. If you can’t find a way to sit down on their level then you should probably talk to some other girls and just keep an eye on them for later. Does that make sense?
When Not To Approach Women
James: (To Lisa) Could you sit and model with Rebecca a conversation you’d have if you were really into each other in the conversation and you don’t want to be disturbed?
(Lisa and Rebecca model this type of interaction)
Now, unless you’re a loser pick up artist with a stupid hat and a bag of lint in your pocket, don’t approach them. If you approach them unless you look like Brad Pitt you’re going to get rejected or they’re going to politely tell you to go away and every other girl in the room will think, “That guy’s got the social intelligence of a house brick”. Don’t approach them.
(To Lisa and Rebecca) Now, could you model, “Are there any cute guys here?”. Could you please model that for me?
(Lisa and Rebecca model this type of interaction. James approaches jokingly)
“Could I get a female opinion on something?”*
No, don’t do that. Um, you see the difference? Now, they’re two girls actually looking for an approach.
(To Lisa and Rebecca) And, could you possibly do neutral? Like it a cute guy comes up you’ll talk to him but you’re not really there to meet men, you’re just talking to your friend.
(Lisa and Rebecca model this)
See what I mean? This one you can approach but you’ve got to do a good job. You’ve got to have quite a bit of energy and you’ve got to demonstrate early on that you’ve got something decent to say.The second one is probably quite easy. The first one; unless these girls are like 6′s and you’re a 10 it’s just not going to work. It might not even work then. You’re not going to get to talk to girls on your level if they are that involved in each other. This is, my whole Bootcamp is basically about social intelligence.